Building a Business: Working & Mom Guilt

Mom guilt. It’s real.

We are 4 days into our new schedule. Life is so different and so wonderful. Dan is home more. We’ve had more family time this week than ever since Olivia was born…AND we’ve both been working. It still feels like a dream.

I’ve been working for anywhere from 2-4 hours a day. I haven’t worked this much in 3 years. And honestly, before the 30 day push, I’ve NEVER worked this focused. The hours I’m working, I’m really working. I have to do a 30 day recap because it’s been so, so instrumental for me into focusing back on my businesses.

I’m working on diversifying my streams of income and in order to be doing that I have to be focused on my goals every single day. (Hello to do list.)

Since I am so focused, I’m also trying to be more present with my girls. I’m able to do this more than ever because I don’t have to be multi tasking because I have more hours to work.

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But with all of this, comes the mom guilt. For the past 4 days, I have felt so guilty that I’m losing those hours with my girls. Mila sleeps so much, so it’s more Olivia. For the past 3 years we’ve been together from 6 am to 5pm and now things are changing. Yes, I’m SO happy, pumped, motivated and excited to be working more…but I have such a strong feeling of guilt that I have less time with Olivia. YES, she’s with Danny and she’s BESIDE herself with excitement, but I MISS her. I know this is totally normal, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

I do actually feel silly for feeling this way because I know working more is good for me and good for my family. I want to be able to REALLY support them. Danny has been supporting us for years, and he’s happy to do it…but I want to be able to do my part.  And the more I can do focused work, the more I can be present with my girls.

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It’s also so good for Olivia to see both Dan and I each working. She also hears us talking about our goals every day and our to do list. She even told me this morning, “my goal is tone”, which means she working on speaking with a nicer tone of voice. (LOL, can you tell we say this 24 times a day…?) I KNOW this is right for us and our family, I just have to get used to it. It’s a weird thing to feel so happy and then have the mom guilt too.

Mom guilt is a widespread feeling. If you have kids, I’m sure you have felt this way also…A LOT. I know I’m not alone. I KNOW I’m lucky to be a stay at home working mom, I don’t take that for granted for one second. This is just new for us and I have to adjust.

Soon I’ll share with you what I’m working on. I’m also going to be working with Amanda in her business accelerator/mentorship program. I’m so excited to work on myself and my business and see where they can go. This is going to be a great year.

I think the biggest help to my mom guilt has been to talk to Danny about it. He is so supportive all of the time. Talking about it to him and other mom friends has made me already feel so much better about it. If you need support, talk to other friends, or feel free to email/tweet/instagram me. I LOVE my family and I love my girls so much. They are my number one priority and I know working a few (very focused) hours a day will only add to the richness in our life.

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More places to find me. I would love to connect with you!

Instagram @nicoleculver

Twitter @nicoleculver

Periscope @nicoleculver

 

 

Toddlers, Veggies and Our Food “Rules”

At the beginning of the summer Liv had her first ear infection. She was complaining of ear pain for a few days and we went for the wait and see method because she was still in a good mood and distractable. She had no fever and was over all happy. By the 4th day it had gotten worse and she woke up crying, so we went to the doctor.

My pediatrician is not an over medicator. She wouldn’t prescribe meds if she didn’t think it would necessary. Livi was crying pretty hard because of pain and she had an infection. Dr. Rubin said if she wasn’t crying so hard she wouldn’t prescribe any.

We made it 2 years and 8 months without meds. A pretty good run. I will admit that I felt guilty she got sick and had to be put on meds, but it is what it is. I read after that 80% of ear infections are viral and will clear up in 5-7 days. That means meds only work 2 out of 10 times. I wish I read this before, but now I know.

A few weeks later she was complaining of ear pain. This time I went right to Herb Pharm garlic oil drops for a few days and it went away, but her complaining of ear pain again made me have a realization about her food.

I was letting her get away with way too much food wise. Sure, what she was eating wasn’t horrible as the way food goes, but I wasn’t making her eat her veggies because she really put up a fight. I finally just said to Danny, why are we letting her get away with this? I wouldn’t eat this way myself, so why am I letting my child? 

I’ve written before how picky Olivia was from early on, but I am sure I played a part in it. I’m sure I was worried if she was eating enough, so I just gave her her staples. Just so you know, her staples aren’t terrible. Eggs, meat, sprouted bread, fruit, chia pudding, nut butters. They definitly are nutritious foods, but the constant snacking was building up and the actual meal times were depleting. She wouldn’t eat dinner and then ask for something later on and we would say yes. Even if it was fruit, what kind of meal is just fruit? It’s not.

I was going to buy the book French Kids Eat Everything, but honestly, I just read the reviews and got a good enough idea of what it was about. I know enough about food and nutrition to know what she should be eating. So we started enforcing meal times. She eats breakfast, lunch and dinner and 1-2 snacks a day (usually 1 is at school…). No snacks after 3 when it gets close to dinner. If she really, really is hungry she can have carrots or some blueberries (or a similar fruit), but that’s it.

trying to share veggies

trying to share veggies

We also made a rule that she has to try everything, atleast one bite. Now, we are reasonable with this. I don’t expect her to eat a salad, so we will just give her carrots and a slice of pepper or something like that. I aim for 2 different veggies at dinner. I also am conscious of making things like zucchini muffins, putting spinach in eggs and adding greens to a smoothie. Every little bit counts. Ya know what, after a few days of this she puts up less of a fight. It’s still not easy, but it gets down.

carrot in hand

carrot in hand

Being honest, it’s not perfect, but she is doing SO much better. Sometimes it takes her 2 hours to finish her veggies, but they are eaten before she can even ask for something else after dinner. (Well, let’s be real, she’ll still ask.) We have made great strides and I have to credit it to me and Dan just not giving in. Dan is a good partner and totally on board. He is really good about staying on top of her.

Food is SO important to me and there is no reason why I shouldn’t be feeding my kids the way I feed myself (and Danny). There are no exceptions. Veggies need to be eaten. We are really doing our best and I can honestly say that now. It’s not easy but it’s worth it.

We talk a LOT about food and how eating in a healthy way makes you strong. I’m careful not to say a food is “bad”, but just explain why we have to eat lots of veggies and other foods to make us feel good and give us energy. Livi already likes to say every morning that she’s strong because of her carrots. It’s rubbing off and I hope if Dan and I continue to model healthy eating habits then she will follow.

Just another note, please, please don’t tell your kid that they can eat [insert junk food here] because you don’t have the energy to fight with them. That is totally sending the wrong message and they’ll try over and over again. Stand strong. They’re worth it.

I would love to hear your philosophy of feeding your kids. Any tips are welcomed too!

Snacking in School Makeover: Healthy Snack List

You guys were so helpful in my post on snacks at preschool. You motivated me so much that the next day I went in and spoke with the director. She actually was super nice and seemed responsive. She said no one had ever asked her to change the snacks. (Of course the day I went in, Liv had chocolate chip cookies for snack.)

The director asked me to make a list of nut free snack options. They usually just buy them on Amazon, so I made it through there. I also brought up making a list for monthly sign ups for parents to bring in fruits and veggies and she was open to that too. I said I would even run that for the class.

This is the list I came up with. I would LOVE to hear any suggestions you have. It has to be nut free and it can’t say “made in a facility that processes nuts.” I think this list is pretty good and I would be happy if she was eating these things for snack at school.

 

I would love to add to the list if you have any suggestions. I really appreciate your support and push to get in there and talk to the director. Please feel free to print the list also and bring it in to your kid’s school if this is a fight you are fighting as well! Our kids are definitely worth it!

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xoxo

More places to find me:

Instagram @nicoleculver

Twitter @nicoleculver

Periscope @nicoleculver